Daily devotion – a godly father, or a dictator, or an imposter.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Sometimes in a marriage, some men overstep and misuse their position of being the spiritual head of the family.
Instead of being a loving protector they rule like an unsympathetic dictator. This is not what the Bible teaches. There was a time in the Book of Genesis when Abraham was told in no uncertain terms to listen to his wife Sarah and do what she had said was the right thing to do!
Gen 21:12 But God said to Abraham, “Do not let it be displeasing in your sight because of the lad or because of your bondwoman. Whatever Sarah has said to you, listen to her voice…
Having said that however there is a time when the father, the husband, needs to lead most assuredly. In matters of obeying God’s Word in all its wisdom, the father is to ensure that his family obeys God’s Word. For example, matters such as fellowship with the Body of Christ, in matters of purity, of respect in the home especially to the children’s mother. These are non-negotiables.
It saddens my heart when I see little one’s smacking their mums in defiance or anger and the father simply letting it happen. What will happen when that child grows into a teen. Where is the respect that needs to be taught in the home? As you let little one’s get away with such matters, magnify that situation down a few years and the home will be a war zone.
People over the years have come to us for counselling with situations where they have allowed their children to dictate the behaviour in the home, to rule the family, to make decisions that only the parents should be making and now the parents wondering what they should do.
Step one – be persistent godly parents and insist on respect and obedience to God’s Word in the home. If the child is living in your home, there should be an understanding of your home being under the oversight of God’s Word.
What if they are over the age of 18 years? If they are living in your home, part of that arrangement should be honoring God’s Word in all aspects. If they are under 18 – it’s not for discussion!
Fathers are to be spiritual heads not pathetic people pleasers allowing all sorts of decisions and behaviours to occur in the home that are contrary to the Word of God. Jesus Christ is to be the Head of the House in all matters.
As I look at the life of Noah, for 120 years he laboured in faith building an ark as God had commanded Him. His three sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth, did not wander off into the world, they laboured alongside their father until the ark was complete.
Each morning as Noah arose from his sleep for those 120 years, his three boys knew what was expected, building the ark and serving the Lord.
The time a father needs to lead without compromise is in all matters in relation to his family serving the Lord. In these matters there is no negotiation, no, “only if you feel like it”, a godly father will lead by example, by passion and by his love for God – but he will lead!
If you want to see how NOT to raise your family – examine Lot’s life.
Fathers, your children need you – they need you to be genuine and real in your love for God or they will see through the façade of compromise so clearly and fall away.
Noah’s boys toiled with him for 120 years and each boy found a wife who too loved the Lord and each of them ended up in the ark at the time of God’s judgment. If you put the Lord first, your children will end up with the right spouse, who loves the Lord.
But dad’s if you are pathetic in your spiritual leading, or if you are a tyrant, your family will crumble, and this must surely be the most painful of events ever.
Be the firm spiritual head in all matters concerning the worship, praise, and obedience to the Lord and to His Word. With your love for God in that firmness it will be seen as a strength and your children like Noah’s three sons, will respect you and grow in the things of the Lord.
If you don’t lead well, if you compromise, if you are weak in being the spiritual head….heartache, woe and suffering will enter your home and bring with it great sadness and regret of what could have been.
Not a dictator, but a godly loving father who serves the Lord at all times in godly obedience – this is what your family needs and this is what God has given you the task to fill as a godly father.
Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it;
Unless the LORD guards the city,
The watchman stays awake in vain. Psalm 127:1